“Did Mendel Eat His Peas?” and Other Questions Biologists Ask Historians
“If you do not worship Dragonball Z, you are a ****ing piece of **** in this house.”
“I am the best potato.”
Junhi: There is a direct correlation between number of attractive girls and the presence of a football team, so I am thoroughly in the camp of keeping ours. I know this because I am a science major.
Katniss: Swagzilla (our brother) has seen 176 episodes of My Little Pony.
Me: My Mac is being slow. Why is it being slow?
Sapphire: Because your Mac is pretty, but there’s not much going on in its little brain. It’s like a blonde Playboy bombshell.
So, Fritz, Sapphire, Finn and I went to dinner at Chik-fil-a tonight as a reward for not completely putting off all of our studying. While there, conversation turned to the characteristics of our typical relationships (romantic and otherwise), and Sapphire and I started making chemistry jokes. These beautifully spawned analogies, borne of exhaustion and a downright lack of cares, were dubbed internet worthy. I present them to you now.
Finn: Finn is like a halogen. Most of his relationships are polarized, with Finn being more sensitive than the other member. He needs to find someone of equal emotional strength to form a non-polar bond with.
Sapphire: Sapphire’s relationship with Beau is like a bromonium ion: inharmonious with logic, but still a natural phenomenon. (Read: It doesn’t make logical sense, but it still is.)
There you have it, folks. I’m not sure which is sadder: the reality of most of our interpersonal skills, or the fact that we spent time at dinner making chemistry jokes. Oh well, as unsocialized and nerdy as we may be, we still get along well with each other. Doesn’t make sense? Yeah, we know. Whatever, logic. We do what we want.
“I am utterly a popsicle.”
“Look at me still talking when there’s science to do.”
When I look out there, it makes me wish I was you.
Alternatively Titled, “Things June’s Professor Says.”
I’m in a relatively small General Chemistry class (probably somewhere around thirty students), and our professor is in charge of a lot of Important Honors Chemistry things. He’s incredibly amusing and almost definitely an INTP. Here are some things he’s said only in the past few weeks:
“They’re very communistic in that regard.”
“Organic chemists make more money because they can sell drugs on the side at night on street corners. Analytical chemists, on the other hand, are the only ones who do things that matter.”
“… This shouldn’t upset your world that much.”
“How many people had this in high school? … How many liked it? Ha!”
“Here’s how I explain how VSEPR works: If two girls wear the same dress to prom, they won’t stand next to each other. Two guys wearing the same tux wouldn’t notice. I probably sound sexist, but you know I’m probably right.”
“Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When we read we begin with A-B-C. When we do electron configurations, we begin with N, L, Nl.”
[Of neon lights] “I have no idea what’s going on.”
[In response to a student asking why he did something]: “Because!”
“Turns out what I’m telling you is a lie.”
“Whatever lights your fire. Just go with it.”
Needless to say, I love chemistry. Most of the class is spent learning things about electron configurations while our professor does what he wants.