In the two weeks I’ve been on campus, I’ve heard some interesting statements from fellow classmates, friends and college professors alike. Here is a collection of a few one-liners that have been heard here at Uni.
Finn [about tea sweetened with Nutella]: This is nasty.
Biology Professor: This next chapter is called “Chemistry Will Hunt You Down.”
Finn: You pepper spray him, then I’ll punch him out.
Sapphire: Boys are trouble, but trouble is fun.
Chemistry Professor [final line of a story about putting Nitrogen Triiodide under a toilet seat]: The first person to sit down the next morning literally gets the s*** scared out of him.
Finn: Man, we’re going to get RIIIIIPPED~!
Guy Behind Me in Calculus: Life is boring. Then you turn 21. Then it’s not as boring.
FYE Professor: Go to Birmingham. That’s where the wizard lives. He’ll fix you.
Chemistry Professor [about speaking the language of Chemical formulas]: We’re going to start with baby talk and work our way up to elegant eighteenth century English—Emily Austin or something.
Papillon [about Finn]: We should just get him a key made.
Anri [shouting]: … and then Ed Sheeran ******* comes on stage!
Finn: I’ve got a hankerin’ for Sammy’s Speedy Subs that only Sammy’s Speedy Subs can satisfy.
Sherly [over iMessage]: What is life.
Chemistry Professor: … if you want to become a terrorist.
Boy Behind Me In Line At An Ambassador Young Event: I would go talk to her, but it’s not the time! It ain’t the season!
Chemistry Professor: If the first job everybody had was working on a farm, we’d have a lot more people graduating college.
Sapphire [flopped over on her bed]: **** my life.
Finn: You are a free human being! You can do what you want!